Ang Narcissist at Self-Centered na si Mike Tan

Tag-Ulan

Days have passed since the last day of retribution. Mourning has begun. Thousands are dead and hundreds are injured, a big storm hits the province of Albay. Revenge has never been this sweet. Life pauses in an instant, bodies after body are found. Blank faces like a story unwritten. Piles of bodies in a field of blood, all are bound to be burned, nothing will be left and memories will be erased.

            Searching aimlessly a man dives into the pile of bodies hoping to see his wife. Shouting vigorously, he cannot accept the fact that his wife is now dead and gone. He continues to search for the body, knowing that the chance of finding his wife’s corpse is at any rate, impossible. Like a madman, raising both his hands touching every body he finds, gripping. He is now furious, anxious to see the body. He will never accept the truth, it is a problem he should face the problem he should resolve. He will never find the body. He looks back to the bodies he passes, staring at those blank faces, faces that look a like, only scars separate their identity. Anxiety drove him into madness. With all hatred fused inside him, he searches again. Gripping the hand and neck of the corpse he pleases, looking at their faces one by one. Never have he found his wife. He still continues to search, digging into the pile of bodies using his hands like a mow, consuming every inch of his energy to find the woman he love. His body drench in agony, his hands tortured by time.

He stopped. Tears fell from his eyes, face fill with dismay. He stops searching. He lost his hope and all he can do now is kneel. Kneel above the bodies he once thought his wife. Open arms he felt the breeze flowing, feeling every inch of nature that once killed someone he loved. Behind him, somebody shouted…           

“HOY! Emilio! Ano ginagawa mo dyan?! Bumaba ka nga!”    

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This is my short story for my CW101 class during the previous sem, i wrote this story because i was inspired by what happened to Albay, when Albay and other cities around it was hit by a typhoon.  This flash fiction is about a man, who searched for his wife who he thought was dead, but actually in the end, his wife was just there looking at him.

i thought about this kind of twist in the story because, i thought that from the commotion that is happening during such a tragic event, there might be survivors that were assumed dead. so i used that “idea” and created this story out of it.

Why do I want to be a BAE student? Or the question should be, why am I in the BAE program. Well, I asked my self a lot of times already, should I go or should I not. During my first years in this program I was already planning to shift, thinking that this course is not suited for me. After a year and a half of trying, and one rejection from the dean, I realize that I should be in this program not because I don’t have any choice but because I have to. Sad to say it took me 3 semesters to understand the beauty of this course. I started to love this course after those semesters of being aloof. I know it’s hard, I know I have to read a lot, and I know that there are a lot of requirements. Well, some of you may ask why now? Why now when I already passed math11 which almost half of the BACA students are failing. I’m already hooked in this course, its so tiring to shift to another course and find new friends and study a new course, I’m learning to love and appreciate this program already, and second I don’t want to be rejected. Still I will never be rejected coz I have no plans on transferring into another course anyway.  Maybe one of the subjects that made me think that I should be in this course is cw101, I didn’t got high grades only a grade of 3, but in that course I realize the thrill of writing. I like it when we do our workshops specially when teachers cirtisize your works, im more challenged that way,  I think the workshops in cw101 changed me, and hopefully in poetry too. I’m happy in this course, I’m starting to appreciate and love it, I just have to adjust a little, read a little, and write a little.     

As she touches her face slowly

I felt a connection within her

She moved her hands to the right

I moved mine to the left

She and I are both in sync

Like in an opposite world, we moved differently yet connected

She looked at me as if she knew I was looking at her

I looked at her, mimicking

She left

I felt empty

Lights turned off

Darkness consumed me 

As she touches her face slowly

Tears fell from my eyes

She wiped her tears with a smile

My smile vanished, still I cry

She mourned with grief as her colors fade

Lights turned off

Darkness illuminates me 

As she touches her face slowly

A spark of courage I felt within

She smiled, as if nothing happened

I smiled, forgetting everything

She looked at me

I looked at her

She held a piece of paper, crumpled

I threw it away

She moved on…

Lights turned off

Darkness illuminates me 

As she touches her face slowly

Tears fell from my eyes

Disappointed, she cried

I cried, don’t know what to do

Madness consumed her

I clasped a knife, never knew what to do

She slashed her left wrist downwards, blood squirts out from her wound

Blood stained me

Madness! She went berserk, pounding me into pieces. Not contented

Broken and stained, I pierce my right wrist opening another wound.

Blood gushed out from her right wound

Shattered into thousand pieces, I died never to be with her again

She died

I felt empty

Lights turned off

Darkness consumed me.

Death…

A goddess in black robe, slithering.

Bewildering everyone she surpasses

Slowly like a serpent.

She raised her left hand

Pointing her long, knife like fingers towards the sky

Snake like spirits came out on her fingers

Consuming everyone, stripping life like a straitjacket

Eyes enchanted with bewilderment

Never to see again.

Never to love nor hate

Never to touch nor feel

Never to speak nor hear

Corrupted souls for evil to digest

For the goddess will unleash her unfathomable wrath to those who disobey

Death-

Eyes consumed with hatred

Death-

Life forsaken

Death-

Tainted soul

Death-

Enchanted words for a wicked man

Death-

Silence…

Death-

Solitude…

Death

I never expected to see you.

Really? I thought you were expecting me…

Why are you here in the first place?

I’m here to take you…

Take me where?

Somewhere…

C’mon I don’t have all day.

Yes you do.

Shut up! Asshole! I asked you, where are you taking me?!

Look at your self young man, you’re all messed up.

Hah! Me? Messed up?! I chose this path old man, so don’t bother!

How many people are taking the same path as you are right now?

Why are you asking me? You’re the one who acts as if you know everything so answer your question.

A lot…

I don’t care! I’m not the one who influenced them anyways.

I know, let’s go young man…

I’m not going unless you tell me where you’re taking me.

I’m taking you to my place…

And where is that place old man?

Somewhere, where birds are free, trees are…

BLA! BLA! BLA! I don’t wanna here it! If you’re going to take me to that kind of place then I’m not going.

You have no choice young man…this is the path you took. I’m just ending it.

Path I took?! Ending what?!

Look at your self closely, don’t you notice something different?

Yah…I’m a little pale…uhmmm

And?

I’m cold…and…don’t tell me?!

Yes, you’re dead young man, you killed your self.

Oh man! This sucks! I didn’t expect this, seriously.

Why did you kill yourself in the first place?

I don’t know, I thought the drug I used won’t work.

Really? You thought it won’t work? Well it worked…

She slowly touches me.

As I played the guitar a bullet was fired and hits my cranium.

She was playing the guitar while staring at me.

The sound of soothing music slowly faded.

Faking a smile needs concentration and body relaxation. You wont be able to perfectly execute this scheme if your mind and body are both floppy. Doing this trick may make or break you. Depending on the situation, many had already been fooled by these lame trick and even some are continuously being fooled. This ancient method of deception has its history, a history lost within the walls of my house. Anyway, that’s history and I have no intention of saying it. I’m here to teach you how to fake a smile, and faking a smile means not an easy task and an expert like me will teach you how.

First, look at the person you are talking too or meeting up, if the person smiles at you, you should also smile back, that’s a forever rule to fake a smile and it’s also a sign of respect. Remember not to frown before smiling its bad because it’s obvious. You should only frown after the smile. Also, be conscious about your surroundings you don’t know if someone’s looking at you, you don’t want to cause any trouble do you? If it’s too risky to frown then try not to show that you’re frowning. Use a stress ball or crumple the paper you’re holding, don’t worry ate Malou has thousands of them she can even make a copy for you. If the person you faked suddenly approached you and said hi! Don’t leave. Remember that you don’t want to cause any trouble and you want to respect the person even if she had done something terrible to you. Reply back and don’t forget to give him another fake smile. Never, ever start a conversation with the person you faked, its blasphemy. Why start a conversation if you don’t like the person? Anyway, if he is so persistent to talk to you, and he asked you a question, answer him. I know this part is difficult, it’s difficult to fake a smile during a conversation because sometimes it becomes too obvious. You should start by answering her question, remember to look in her eyes, it’s a sign of respect. Answer his question slowly, and think of how to escape in that death pool while you still can, remember not to be obvious. Be rational, never think of stupid things. Always remember to think before you utter don’t copy people who forgets to think, people who just utters a meaningless sentence and blew their deceptive moves. To escape that kind of abrupt stupidity you should learn how to analyze a sentence fast! Saying “I have to go” is different from “excuse me I have to go, nag start na klase ko”. Always remember to choose a phrase or sentence that sounds respectful or nice. How can you do such thing in an instant? Well, always remember your manner, that’s the easiest solution for it. Remember to control your temper and the pitch of your voice. If you utter a sentence in a high pitch then you’ll be too obvious, but if you say it in a graceful manner then you’ll sound gay, just talk normally and be tact. Don’t forget to smile whenever you decide to leave, and remember not to show any irritated kind of expression in your face. Be conscious all the time, pay attention to your eyes, your cheeks, your mouth, and your hands, those parts of the body shows very strong emotions that can easily be detected. This type of deception is not an easy task to do, but I know many had already mastered this kind of art and for those who are yet ignorant to this kind of art then start learning now, may this entry helps you towards your goal of becoming a ninja.

Tik tak tik tak tik tak…The sound echoed through out the corridor like a step of a child in a wooden shoe.

tik tak tik tak…walking slowly, she found a door never been seen. A door shattered by memories, crushed by hatred and wounded by lust.

Tik tak tik tak…the door draws near her then suddenly a feeling of anxiety shrouded her body. A feeling she had never felt for so long.

An eerie voice echoed.

Mommy where are you going?

Don’t leave me here! Please! Please mommy…

Mommy why are they hurting me?…

Stop!STOP PLEASE!!What are you doing? Please don’t! please!!!

MOMMY!! 

The door opened and memories flashed in her mind, a memory that’s not hers. Questions enveloped her mind, confused.

Tik tak tik tak tik tak… she went inside the room to find answers.The room was filled with cobwebs, and broken glasses. In the middle was a rocking chair, moving, as if somebody was sitting. Next to it was a bed with white sheets stained by black ashes, ashes that fell down from the burnt ceiling. On the upper left corner was a table, a table that brings bad memories to her, memories about the incident.

Yes, the incident. That was 15 years ago, when she was still 12 years old. She was tortured and raped by his father, Wounded and drenched with blood she laid on the floor. Her neighbor saw her thru the open window, and helped her out. They where the only one who helped her and brought her to the hospital, her mother had left her during that night, afraid of being a victim of his own husband, she sacrificed her daughter in exchange of her life. She never knew what happened to her mother, people said she killed herself because of what happened but she never believed them because she knew that her mother was still alive and happy for what had happened to her. She lost her memory but her anger towards her mother had never been lost. After five months in the hospital, her neighbor helped her file a case against her father. She won but she felt something was missing, the life of her mother.

She paused, and looked closer at the table…

On top of the table was a broken lamp, and old pictures of a family, a family that’s not hers. As if she cares if it’s her family or not, she never loved her family after what happened to her, she’s boiling with hatred.

As she looked inside she realized that almost half of the room was burnt. she kept on walking, drawing her near the bed…

Tik tak tik…she looked down, and saw a doll. An antique doll made of porcelain. It looks new, never been stained. It is as if, somebody was here a minute ago and left the doll. It was impossible, nobody could have entered the room, she was walking towards it and she never saw someone leave nor enter the room. Confused, dolly was confused.  

She continued to search the room while clutching the doll with both arms.

Tik tak tik tak tik tak… She moved closer to the rocking chair, as if someone was pushing her to go near it. Tik tak tik tak… she doesn’t want to continue she wants to leave the room but she can’t. She was clutching the doll tighter than before, like a terrified child holding her mother for protection. She stopped in front of the rocking chair and a terrifying sensation enveloped her body… she closed her eyes. Never did she realize that there is someone sitting on the chair.

Tik tak tik tak…sounds of her footsteps kept on reverberating inside the room…Tik tak tik tak tik tak …how come? She never moved an inch, whose making those sounds? Bewildered, she never opened her eyes, scared of what to see. She then felt something unexpected…someone, no! Something was sitting on the rocking chair!So scared, she dropped the doll. Shattering it into pieces… Then silence shrouded the room. She opened her eyes feeling that the one sitting on the rocking chair had left. Slowly… she never expected what she saw. The porcelain doll she dropped was the one sitting on the rocking chair! Not even a piece of it was shattered. She looked down to see if the doll she dropped was there… 

Dolly…Dolly…papa has a surprise for you. Dolly… There you are Dolly… see this doll? It’s for you my sweet daughter.Mama, mama…papa gave me a doll…it’s so beautiful. Mama, where are you mama?

Mama’s gone, she went shopping Dolly, want to play? you and papa will play ok?

Ok… 

Tears fell from her eyes…

(unfinished)

The lawn is green…there are four trees; there is  white picket fence about three feet high and a flagstone walk leading to a white door.” 

A field of melancholic flowers soaked with envy.

Enclosed with thorny fence and shrouded by mystic trees, four of which are like pillars that touches the heaven.

At the center, a crystallized path leading the door to utopia  

 

Naked clown in a pink fair, detached from reality. Giving euphoric nightmares to its audience.